07/03/2025

Why is Mahr a Must in Marriage?
Why is Mahr a Must in Marriage?  Growing up in a Muslim family, we often attended nikah ceremonies. During the nikah ceremony, the imam officiating the nikah reads the nikah document and specifically mentions the mahr to both the groom and the bride before asking for their consent. While listening to the khutbah, one thing that often comes to mind is why announcing money or gold as mahr is a must in marriage. As a Muslim, it is already known to you that haq mahr is the main aspect of nikah, and it is mandatory for the groom to give it to the bride. Contrary to the common misconceptions about Islam regarding women's rights, Islam is a religion that clearly gives more rights and independence to women. When a woman gets married, her husband gives her the gift of marriage (mahr) to welcome her into his home and to show her the respect and worth she has in his eyes. If you're curious about why mahr a must in marriage and what it means for a married woman, there are concrete evidences from both the Quran and Hadith that shed light on this. Whether you're a woman wanting to understand your rights about mahr, or a man looking for the Quranic guidelines, this blog is for you.  Mahr and Its Types: The gift of marriage, or mahr, is a sacred command in Islam. It's a special gift given to the bride, either at the time of the nikah (marriage ceremony) or agreed to be given later. This obligation falls on the husband or someone else who agrees to pay it, always with the couple’s mutual consent. Mahr, often referred to as the dowry, is a significant and honored tradition in Shariah law. It represents a gift from the groom to the bride at the time of their marriage, serving as a token of respect and a symbol of the husband's commitment. But mahr is not just a mere formality; it has profound implications and comes in different forms.  In Surah Nisa Allah clearly mentions, And give the women (on marriage) their Mahr as a free gift” (Quran 4:4) 1. Mahr-e-Mu'ajjal (Prompt Mahr)Mahr-e-Mu'ajjal, or prompt mahr, is the type that becomes obligatory immediately after the nikah (marriage contract). This means the husband must pay the full amount as soon as possible, or at least a significant portion of it. The wife has the right to demand it at any time.  Even if she does not ask for it, the husband should take the initiative to fulfill this obligation promptly. This form of mahr underscores the immediate respect and support the husband pledges to his wife. 2. Mahr-e-Muajjal (Deferred Mahr)Mahr-e-Muajjal, or deferred mahr, is agreed upon to be paid at a later date. This date is mutually decided by both parties and is typically outlined in the marriage contract. Until the specified date, the husband is not obliged to pay the mahr, and the wife cannot demand it.  However, this deferred mahr often becomes due in cases of divorce or the husband's death. This type of mahr ensures long-term security for the wife, demonstrating a sustained commitment from the husband. 3. Mahr-ul-Mithl (Standard Mahr)Mahr-ul-Mithl refers to the standard or customary mahr, determined based on the mahr amounts received by other women in the bride's family or similar social class. This ensures fairness and appropriateness in the mahr amount, aligning it with social norms and expectations.  If no specific mahr is agreed upon at the time of marriage, Mahr-ul-Mithl automatically becomes obligatory on the husband. This standardization helps maintain a balance and prevents excessive or inadequate dowries. Why Mahr is the Right of Muslim Women? Islam always gives financial independence to the woman and when she is starting a new chapter in her life, Mahr act as a stake in the marriage. It shows that your value is recognized, and you're not just another part of the household. This feeling of ownership fosters respect and helps create a more balanced relationship.  In Islam, it is not permissible for the husband to question his wife on how she spends her mahr. The mahr entirely belongs to the woman, and it is up to her to decide how to use it. Whether she wants to spend the money on shopping, investing in the stock market, starting a new business, or buying the gold necklace she's always wanted, the husband has no right to ask about it. Mahr provides financial security for the bride, especially in the event of divorce or the husband's death. It serves as a financial cushion, helping the bride sustain herself independently. If the wife later asks for a divorce, known as khula, she returns the mahr to her husband. However, in most cases, if a divorce occurs due to regular marital issues, the wife is allowed to keep the mahr. Allah says in Surah An-Nisa, verse 20: “But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a cantar (of gold, i.e., a great amount) as mahr, take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin? And how could you take it (back) when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” [al-Nisa 4:20-21] Also, the following hadith states: “You are not entitled to take back any money. If you have told the truth, the Mahr you paid was for having sexual relations with her lawfully”. [Sahih Bukhari]. Mahr is a significant payment to the bride, which she keeps. This ensures that if the bride doesn’t own property or gold, she still has something to secure her rights.  This practice highlights the respect and security Islam offers to women, ensuring they have financial independence and security in their marriages. How Much Mahr Should You Pay?In Islam, mahr, or dowry, is a significant gift that the groom gives to his bride as a token of respect and commitment. It's important to understand the amount you need to pay to ensure it aligns with Islamic principles and respects the rights of the bride. As per the Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said that the Mahr should be “one piece of gold”. However, the Mahr sum is agreed between the bride and the groom’s parents or guardians (also known as Wali). The parties often create Mahr contracts to come to an agreement on the Mahr amount. Minimum Mahr Amount According to Hadees:According to the Hanafi school of thought, the least amount of mahr that must be given is ten dirhams. This amount is equivalent to approximately 2 grams and 7.5 milligrams of silver, which translates to about $15 (200 rupees). Even if the bride consents to a lower amount, Shariah law mandates that she must receive at least this minimum sum. This ensures that the mahr serves its purpose of honoring and respecting the bride. The minimum amount is set to ensure that mahr maintains its significance as a respectful gift. It is designed to be affordable even for those who are not financially well-off, preventing any undue burden on the groom while still providing a meaningful gift to the bride. This minimum is not merely symbolic; it upholds the dignity and purpose of mahr. Prophet Mohammed said, “Surely Allah may forgive any sin on the Day of Resurrection save the sin of one who misappropriated the Mehr of a woman or the wages of a hired person, or who sells a free person (as a slave).” Mahr of Hazrat Fatima (R)There is a common misconception that $15 or 200 rupees is the standard mahr amount. Some people even suggest that 32 rupees is sufficient. However, these amounts are outdated and incorrect. The purpose of mahr is to honor the bride, and suggesting such small amounts undermines this intention. Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) set an example by fixing the mahr for his daughter, Hazrat Fatima (R), at 500 dirhams, which is approximately 131 tolas and 3 milligrams of silver in today amount. This was a significant amount, reflecting the middle-class status and providing a meaningful gift. It's essential to understand that while emulating this amount is commendable, it is not mandatory. The mahr can be more or less than this amount, as long as it respects the principles of honor and affordability. How Should Mahr Be Balanced to Ensure Fairness and Avoid Financial Strain?While the minimum amount is stipulated, there is no fixed upper limit for mahr. The amount should be considerate of the husband's financial capacity and should not be so high that it becomes impossible for him to pay. In Islam, it's not encouraged for a woman or her guardian to ask for a lot of money that can't be paid right away. The Mahr, or marriage payment, should be a fair amount that the groom can afford without going broke.  Hazrat Umar (R) advised against giving excessively large mahr to avoid financial strain and the risk of the mahr remaining unpaid. Hazrat Umar (R) had once said in a speech: “Do not give large amounts (for Mahr)”. A woman objected to this and said that “the Quran mentioned the word “Qintaar” which translates to: a heap of gold or silver!” After listening to her, he replied: “You are correct, as it is not prohibited in general terms. Meaning if it’s not done for show, he has the ability to pay the full amount, and has the intention for paying it as well, and then by all means he should do so. But if one of these is missing, then it will not be permissible.” Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah  (may Allah have mercy on him)  also shared his thoughts on this issue and said, “The Companions did not write down dowries because they did not get married on the basis of a delayed dowry; rather they paid the mahr immediately, and even if they delayed it, the amount was known. When people began to get married on the basis of a delayed dowry, and a long time would pass and it would be forgotten, they began to write down the delayed portion and that became evidence to prove the dowry and that she was his wife.” (Majmu` Al-Fatawa, 32/131)  Can Guardian Take Woman’s Mahr?Mahr serves as a safeguard, ensuring that the bride is protected and honored within the marital union. It’s her shield against any potential injustice or exploitation. By granting her the autonomy to determine her mahr, Islam empowers women, reinforcing their agency and autonomy. The mahr is the exclusive right of the wife, and no one, not even her father or any other family member, can claim it without her consent. This provision ensures that the wife's financial rights are protected and that she has full autonomy over her assets. By upholding this principle, Islamic law reinforces the importance of mutual respect, consent, and equality within the marriage relationship. Abu Salih said: “When a man married off his daughter, he would take her mahr away from her, but Allah forbade them to do that, and gave women the right to the mahr they received.” (Tafsir Ibn Kathir) Is it permissible for the wife to waive any portion of the mahr?If a wife decides after getting married that she doesn't want any or all of the mahr, it's okay as long as she's happy with the choice and nobody is making her do it. It's really important that she freely makes this decision without anyone forcing her.  Forcing someone to give up their mahr isn't right because everyone should be treated fairly and respectfully in Islam. The wife's agreement should be real and not because of pressure so that her rights in the marriage are respected and kept safe.  Keep in Mind the mahr should not be a burden on a man and he should be capable of giving it without any financial strain it is not permissible for the guardian or demand a high amount before marriage for their own sake. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300.  And he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:  “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.  Final Words:Mahr is a vital aspect of an Islamic marriage, symbolizing respect, honor, and commitment. Understanding the appropriate amount to pay ensures that this tradition is upheld with the dignity it deserves. By following these guidelines, grooms can fulfill their obligations sincerely and meaningfully, setting a strong foundation for a respectful and harmonious marriage.

07/03/2025

Is Dating Haram
Is Dating Haram? In Islam, having a girlfriend or boyfriend is prohibited. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:   فَانْكِحُوْهُنَّ بِاِذْنِ اَهْلِهِنَّ وَ اٰتُوْهُنَّ اُجُوْرَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ مُحْصَنٰتٍ غَیْرَ مُسٰفِحٰتٍ وَّ لَا مُتَّخِذٰتِ اَخْدَانٍ١ۚ فَاِذَاۤ اُحْصِنَّ فَاِنْ اَتَیْنَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ فَعَلَیْهِنَّ نِصْفُ مَا عَلَى الْمُحْصَنٰتِ مِنَ الْعَذَابِ١ؕ ذٰلِكَ لِمَنْ خَشِیَ الْعَنَتَ مِنْكُمْ١ؕ وَ اَنْ تَصْبِرُوْا خَیْرٌ لَّكُمْ١ؕ وَ اللّٰهُ غَفُوْرٌ رَّحِیْمٌ۠   “… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisa 4:25]   Understanding Haram and Halal Dating in Islam Dating within the Muslim community often faces a maze of misconceptions and varied interpretations of Islamic teachings. The intertwining of traditional values and cultural norms significantly influences this subject, making it essential to examine the religious aspects to answer a core question: Is dating permissible in Islam?   Haram Dating Haram dating refers to dating practices that contradict Islamic values and principles. These behaviors can include premarital sex, physical intimacy, and spending time alone with someone of the opposite gender without the presence of a mahram. In Islam, these actions are considered haram (prohibited) and can result in severe spiritual and moral repercussions both in this world and in the afterlife. Abd-Allah ibn Mughaffal reported that there was a woman who had been a prostitute during the days of ignorance (before Islam). A man passed by her, or she passed by him, and he touched her. She said: “Stop it! (Mah! A word connoting a rebuke or denunciation). Allah has done away with shirk and has brought Islam.” So he left her alone and went away, still looking at her, until he walked into a wall, hitting his face. He came to the Prophet (PBUH) and told him what had happened. The Prophet (PBUH) said: “You are a man for whom Allah wishes good. When Allah, may He be blessed and exalted, wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin, so that it is dealt with before the Day of Resurrection.” (Sahih al-Jami: 308)   Halal Dating Halal dating, on the other hand, aligns with Islamic teachings and principles. This form of dating focuses on getting to know a potential spouse with the intention of marriage while adhering to Islamic guidelines. Key aspects of halal dating include avoiding physical intimacy and ensuring interactions are chaperoned by a mahram. This approach allows Muslims to seek love and companionship while remaining faithful to their religious values. It was narrated from Ibn Abbas that the Prophet [PBUH] said: “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.” [Sunan ibn Majah 1847]   To Date or Not to Date? The decision to date is not one-size-fits-all. Islam encourages Muslims to pursue relationships within the framework of its teachings, emphasizing the importance of purity and chastity before marriage. While haram dating practices are discouraged, Islam recognizes the importance of building a strong bond with a future spouse. Therefore, halal dating is permitted, provided it follows specific rules and guidelines.   Guidance from the Quran and Sunnah on Love and Relationships اَلزَّانِیْ لَا یَنْكِحُ اِلَّا زَانِیَةً اَوْ مُشْرِكَةً١٘ وَّ الزَّانِیَةُ لَا یَنْكِحُهَاۤ اِلَّا زَانٍ اَوْ مُشْرِكٌ١ۚ وَ حُرِّمَ ذٰلِكَ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ   “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the believers such a thing is forbidden” (24:3) Although the Quran does not explicitly mention the concept of dating, it underscores the significance of marriage and the pursuit of a compatible partner who shares one’s faith and values. The Quran encourages Muslims to find partners who align with their religious principles and to approach marriage with sincerity and intention. The Sunnah, through the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his companions, offers additional insights into love and relationships. The Prophet was known for his deep affection and respect for his wives, setting an example for Muslims to treat their spouses with kindness and respect. The Sunnah also advises seeking partners with good character and warns against relationships based solely on physical attraction.   The Ongoing Debate: Is Dating Haram in Islam? The question of whether dating is haram in Islam continues to ignite passionate discussions among Muslims worldwide. This debate arises from diverse interpretations of Islamic teachings on dating. Some argue that dating can be halal if it adheres to Islamic principles, while others believe any form of dating outside marriage is haram. A primary concern about dating in Islam is the potential for it to lead to premarital sex, considered a major sin. Dating can evoke temptation and desire, potentially causing couples to engage in sexual acts before marriage. Additionally, dating can lead to emotional distress and heartbreak if the relationship doesn’t work out, adding to the complexity of the issue. Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) who heard the Prophet (PBUH) say: “No man should be alone with a woman.”  And the Prophet (PBUH) said: “No, no man is alone with a woman but the third one present is the Shaytaan. (At-Tirmidhi 2165) Whether you choose to engage in halal dating or refrain from dating altogether, it’s crucial to prioritize your faith and maintain purity and chastity as a Muslim.   Risks and Consequences of Haram Dating Beyond the religious implications, haram dating can have severe real-life consequences. While dating might seem harmless and enjoyable, it poses significant risks.   One major risk is the potential damage to one’s reputation, especially in conservative societies where premarital relationships are frowned upon. Engaging in haram dating can spark gossip and rumors, impacting an individual’s social and professional life.   Furthermore, haram dating can lead to emotional damage and heartbreak, particularly if one or both parties are not serious about the relationship. It’s essential to recognize that dating outside marriage is not only prohibited by religion but also contradicts cultural and societal norms in many Islamic countries. Haram Dating V/S Halal Dating (Marriage) Marriage is better than dating in many ways. It is a lifelong commitment based on trust, loyalty, love, and compassion. Dating, on the other hand, is temporary and often lacks compassion and loyalty. Marriage demands work but is worth it, while dating is carefree with no guarantee of lasting. In marriage, both partners are loyal and attentive, nurturing the relationship. In dating, one might use the relationship for personal gain without caring for the other’s emotions. Marriage offers a profound sense of stability and commitment that dating often lacks.  Marriage is Halal, while dating is Haram. In recent times, the concept of marriage has evolved. People now marry when they feel truly ready, not just out of obligation. However, some people favor dating over marriage because it offers greater freedom and flexibility. Without the constraints of a lifelong commitment, they can explore different relationships and discover what they truly want in a partner.  Additionally, dating often proves to be less costly than marriage, as there’s no need to share expenses like rent, groceries, or utilities. On the flip side, dating lacks the stability that marriage provides. When a dating relationship ends, it can leave you without a partner or a stable living situation.  Marriage, though more stable, demands a significant commitment. It involves dedicating yourself to one person for life and merging your financial responsibilities. Both dating and marriage come with their own set of advantages and disadvantages. Ultimately, the choice between them depends on what aligns best with your personal goals and lifestyle. However, In Islamic view, marriage is Halal and dating is Haram. One can easily understand that what should be the choice of a Muslim? Marriage, of course.  Keeping Your Relationship Halal: Essential Tips To maintain a halal relationship, consider these crucial tips: Purify Your Intentions Before entering any relationship, examine your intentions. Are you seeking a genuine, committed partnership, or are you merely looking for fun? Be honest with yourself and ensure your motives align with Islamic values. Get to Know Each Other in a Halal Manner While it’s important to get to know your potential partner, do so in a way that respects Islamic guidelines. Instead of traditional dates, consider attending group events where you can interact in a casual, halal setting. Involve Family and Friends Involving family and friends in your relationship can provide guidance and support, helping to keep your relationship halal. Invite each other to family gatherings or group outings with friends. Seek Divine Guidance Regularly pray for guidance and Allah’s blessings on your relationship. This practice can help you stay focused on your faith and keep your relationship on the right path.   Conclusion To conclude, the question of whether dating is haram can be answered affirmatively when we consider dating as it is commonly understood in Western culture. However, halal dating is permissible within Islam, provided certain rules and guidelines are followed. Straying from these Islamic principles in dating can lead to various risks and adverse outcomes.   As Muslims, it is crucial to uphold our purity and chastity before marriage, and traditional Western-style dating conflicts with these values. Halal dating, however, is sanctioned within specific boundaries, ensuring that relationships remain pure and aligned with Islamic teachings. While building a strong bond with a potential spouse is important, it must not compromise one’s religious values and principles.  Adhering to the principles of halal dating allows individuals to seek companionship while remaining faithful to their beliefs. Dating outside the sanctity of marriage not only contradicts Islamic teachings but also defies cultural and societal norms in many Islamic countries. By embracing halal dating practices, one can find happiness and companionship without straying from their faith.